


Pictures

by regionalatbest



Category: Amazingphil - Fandom, Danisnotonfire - Fandom, Video Blogging & YouTube RPF
Genre: M/M, Phan - Freeform, YouTube, phanfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-19
Updated: 2013-07-19
Packaged: 2017-12-20 17:25:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/889888
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/regionalatbest/pseuds/regionalatbest
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dan hates having his picture taken</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pictures

People always asked Dan why he didn’t post more pictures of himself online and every time he had the same answer–he was too busy enjoying life to take pictures. And while Phil knew that to be true, he also knew that that wasn’t the main reason that Dan didn’t post on there all that much. Despite all the time he spent on MySpace posting pictures of himself and all the hundreds of pictures that he’d taken of Phil, he never liked how he looked in pictures. He just tried to play it off and make it seem like it wasn’t that big of a deal, but since they moved in together a few months ago Phil had noticed how hard Dan was on himself. Phil had tried to tell him that he always looked great in the pictures–because well, Phil thought he did, he always thought Dan looked handsome–but Dan knew that his opinion was biased so he never listened. So Phil confronted Dan on it, asked him why he cared so much when there were obviously so many unattractive pictures that people had taken from videos on the internet, but all Dan had to say on the subject was something about bullying and if there was going to be yet another picture of him online he at least wanted to look decent in it. Phil told him that he always looked nice in pictures, that he thought that Dan could never look bad. Dan just smiled and shook his head. So Phil decided to prove it to him wrong. Phil got the old camera–they had since upgraded to a new one but they kept this one for Dan to take pictures with–and started taking pictures of Dan. Once Dan noticed what Phil was doing he smirked and continued with what he was doing. 

“Okay there we go, I’m gonna look through these then post them to Tumblr,” Phil said sitting down next to Dan and grabbing his laptop, he knew that that would get Dan’s attention.

“Okay just let me look over them first.” Dan replied without looking up.

“No I think I’ve got it, I can tell when you look good and when you don’t.”

“No no you can’t, you’ve said it yourself, you’re very biased when it comes to me. Just lemme look them over before you post, please.” Just by looking at him Phil could tell that Dan really was worried about this and it kind of made him feel bad, but he just didn’t know how else to show him that it really didn’t matter how he looked.

“Dan, listen to me, I promise I’ll only post the very best ones okay?” Phil said very slowly as to make sure that Dan would understand.

“But I just want to make sure.” Dan said trying to get Phil’s computer from him.

Phil lifted his laptop up so that Dan couldn’t get it. “Dan, no, I know how you are with these things and I can’t think of a better way to fix it than showing you that it’s okay to just let go not overanalyse every picture of you ever taken before it’s uploaded.” Dan more or less climbed on top of Phil still trying to get the laptop. “Dan get off of me we’re going to break my computer.”

Dan moved off of Phil’s lap and sat back crossed-legged. “Please don’t post any pictures without letting me look at them, you know how I am with these kind of things, please don’t put me through this.” Dan said, looking at Phil with big eyes because he knew that no how hard he tried Phil couldn’t say no to them.

“That’s exactly why I don’t want you to look. I hate that you can’t see just how amazingly stunning you are and the fact that it’s holding you back from being able to not worry about these things. I can’t think of any other way to show you that I’m really not the only one to see that aside from more or less forcing you to let me post picture of you without you picking yourself apart. It’s terrible for you and I really hate it when you do it.”

“But Phil, I already hate my face as it is, at least let me make sure that it looks somewhat okay.” Dan said, and what really broke Phil’s heart was that he was completely serious when he said it. He honestly thought those things and Phil hated it.

“Why do you think that Dan?”

“Because it’s true Phil, I’m ugly and disgusting and everyone sees it, I know you see it too and I don’t know why you put up with it and I know eventually you’ll notice that you can do way better than me and I’m so fucking terrified of that day because I’m not stunning or amazing or anything even remotely like that and I hate it, I hate it so fucking much Phil.” Phil could just tell that Dan was holding back tears as he took a deep breath and continued on. “So if you would please just let me look at the photos before you posted them, I would really appreciate it.” Dan looked down at his hands and said nothing, clearly not knowing what to do with himself now that he’d said that. So Phil grabbed him and pulled him in for the best hug that he could give and started rubbing his beautiful, amazing, wonderful boyfriend’s back.

“Dan, when I say this I want you to listen to me okay? You are honestly one of the most amazing people I have ever met.” Dan snorted “No I’m serious, you are just so caring and nice and loving and funny and the fact that you think those things about yourself just makes me want to cry because they’re so untrue and I hate that you think that they are.” He pulled Dan away and kissed him on the forehead and whispered “I love you so damn much Dan Howell, and I wish you could see yourself in the same way that I see you because honestly sometimes I wonder how you’re even real.”

“You’re too good for me you know that?” Dan said looking down trying to hide the blush that was appearing on his face from Phil.

“I’m really not, if anything you’re too good for me,” Dan opened his mouth to protest. “No not a word. Now, would you like to go out tonight?”

“What about the pictures?”

“We can deal with them later.”

–––––––––––

But they never did, Phil ordered Indian food for dinner and it was delicious, he thought about bringing it up again but he could tell that Dan really didn’t want to talk about it so he just left it, he still has the pictures saved–doesn’t think he’ll ever delete them–but they definitely won’t see the light of day anytime soon. And they went on with life, Dan continued to care a lot about how he looked in pictures and Phil continued to try to convince him that he looked amazing no matter what, and Dan continued to disagree. But sometimes–and Phil never drew attention to it out of fear that Dan would stop doing it–he would see Dan going to retake a picture but then decide not to, decide to upload the one that he maybe didn’t like as much and when he did that it always made Phil smile. He had a folder in his computer of these pictures–small and hidden away so that Dan wouldn’t see–and he knew that he didn’t have all of them–there had to be some that he’d missed–but he kept them and looked at them when he was down because they were just so _Dan_ , they weren’t some posed version of him that didn’t have a hair out of place or a perfect smile on his face. It was just Dan looking like Dan and Phil loved it.


End file.
